The roommate dilemma

I’m starting to think it is me that is the issue, but I don’t understand why. I’m pretty easy to live with. Clean up after yourself, do your share of chores, don’t make too much noise and respect my Saturday sleeping in. I don’t think that is too much to ask.

That being said, I’ve had some pretty bad roommate experiences.

Roomie #1: My college live in, anime, freak, dork nerd. We seemed to get along pretty well in the few email exchanges before school started and even had some things in common. Then I met her in real life. To the nines, number one example of NERD. Greasy hair, black rimmed glasses (before they were cool) jack sparrow shirts and chucks every day. She watched anime daily…I think I even caught her watching cartoon porn once. I’m not kidding. We had nothing in common and barely spoke to each other. She talked about me with all of her nerdy dork clan. I’ve never been happier to evacuate my space in my life. We only roomed for one semester and that was more than enough for me.

Roomie #2: My BFFL. We’ve known each other since we were 5 years old and decided to get an apartment together. I was still in college full time and working 3 jobs. Needless to say I was freaking exhausted and my nerves were short to begin with. Now introduce the boyfriend units. Mine and recently suffered a back injury and wasn’t working. So he was home ALL the time. Hers was a deadbeat with a history of abuse who also didn’t work. That combination was a set up for disaster. Mine boy hated hers and the feeling was mutual, which caused all sorts of tension between me and my bestie. My friend and her BF had some pretty disgusting habits. They never cleaned (for him, meaning his own body as well), left dishes to mold under their bed and them bring them down to the sink. They fought daily and when they got pissed off at us, they punished us by turning the heat up to like 90 degrees. Imagine waking up to that in the middle of the night. We called 911 after he hit her, detectives to the apartment after he stole tv’s from the hotel that he worked at for 2.5 seconds and her own dad broke into the house and stole checks from her. Thankfully, we had installed a lock on our door after stuff had gone missing, or who knows what they would have taken. If there was a bad experience to have with a roommate, we had it.
My friend and I almost destroyed our relationship and didn’t speak for months after this disaster. The only reason we talk know, is she had a baby (with said unit mentioned above, WTF) that brought us back together.

Roommate#3: my brother and his girlfriend. No more roommates after this set, I’ve reached my limit. They haven’t been to bad. My brother is a doofus who has never really had to take care of himself before, so once we worked out all of those kinks it seemed to be ok. THEN, they announced they were going to have a baby. For the last 9 months I have been stressing out about this. My mom doesn’t seem to understand why I’m not flipping ecstatic that my little niece or nephew is going to be here in less than a week. Let me tell you why….The only way I know what is going on with the pregnancy is through facebook. Not a single word has been presented to my face except the fact that they were expecting.  Her family is GIGANTIC and I know that this house is going to be a zoo. I am not going to sleep for the next….until I get the fuck out of here (please see my roommate rule regarding Saturday sleeping) and there is going to be baby shit all over my house. This impending baby shit doom bothers me because their opinion of decorating the nursery was to put Winnie the pooh stickers (like sticker book stickers you have in 1st grade) on the door. Yea, I won’t be the one scratching that shit out of the door.

Plan for 2012, get my tax return and get my own freaking place and never have roommates again except for my significant other and any heathens I create my self, thank you.

Do you have any bad roommate experiences? I would love to know that I am not alone in my pain.

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