I’ve been down in the dumps lately. Mostly about money and it feels like the pressures of the world are on my shoulders. I feel like I’m coming to a cross road again which always stresses me out, considering which way to take my life. I have a love hate relationship with change. I love change, but I am terrified of it. I will mull over every good or bad aspect of what could come over and over and over again until I come to the F-It conclusion.
F*&% It- Life it too short, just go for it. OR
F*&% It- I don’t have time to deal with this.
Essence magazine had an article about changing the perspective of your life, starting with an I have already accomplished list. So here I go:
I have an established career working WITH the degree I went to school for.
I have been with the company for EIGHT years- minus a short leave of absence-I’m 25.
I have gotten to travel to new places (my only consistent dream in life).
I have a salary, 401k, paid vacation and a casual work environment.
I have girlfriends at work, like real friends that will last even if we don’t work together at some point.
I like what I do.
I modeled and had my face on posters in stores and tradeshows all over the country.
I was thrown into a marketing position with no clue about what I was doing, and succeeded.
I was thrown into a management-ish position with no clue about what I am doing…and I think I am succeeding.
I get paid to play on social media and go to parties.
I have taken chances, made changes and received recognition in my work.
If I left today, I would be happy with what I did here.
I live on my own.
I have a roof over my head.
I am able to keep all of the necessities of life provided.
My bills get paid, even if they are late.
I rarely have to go with out.
I excelled in school.
I was accepted into the school of my dreams.
I finished college in the 4 years I set out to do so.
I have a BA in Marketing.
I suffer from no major illness.
I am generally happy with my body.
I am in good health and take small steps to stay that way.
I can truly say that I think I am beautiful and have confidence in myself.
I have a healthy relationship with food. I believe in indulging myself every once in a while. I don’t believe in denying myself something I truly want.
I have a good relationship with my family
I have good relationships with friends
I have been friends with my best friend for 20 years
I have another best friend and partner-we have been together for 7 years.
-He makes me better, and doesn’t let me bullshit and be stubborn-I do the same for him
I have a cat-child named Tanner-he is the other love of my life.
I was in a beauty pageant. I had to walk across stage in front of hundreds of people in my swimsuit and I earned a $30,000 scholarship to college.
I learned to ride a motorcycle, joined an MRO and am the treasurer for my local.
I have volunteered, continuously since I was in grade school. I have helped raise tens of thousands of dollars for various charities.
I have kept my faith and it has grown stronger.
Even though I forget it often, I am happy in my life.
At the end of the article in Essence they had a side panel called Your Power Pledge by Lisa Nichols. It reads:
“I am unique. My journey has been filled with experiences that have built my resiliency, defined my character and made me a better woman.
I am ready to cash in on my greatness, my brilliance, my God-given possibilites and my prosperity.
I will turn my valleys into my mountaintops, my obstacles into my opportunities, my tests into my testimony.”
*the next paragraph tells you to love your chocolate, mocha skin, full curves, and big lips. This doesn’t apply here. But I do love my porcelain skin, thick hair and white girl curves, lol. I will love all of me.
“I am the masterpiece of humility, gratitude, godliness, and divinity. My beauty is real. My heart is good and my strength has been confirmed through the test of time with my mother, grandmother, and great grandmother.
I will show the world how to treat me- and it’s my job to give the world the best example possible.
I have turned my crawl into a walk, my walk into a run, and I’m now turning my run into a soar.
I am unapologetic about my brilliance, untamed in my quest to discover me.
I am not longer asking for permission to be me. I’m giving notice!