Everyone keeps asking me if I am excited. I don’t know that excited is the word.

Yes I am happy. It’s amazing this little miracle that is growing inside of me. I can’t wait to feel overwhelmed when I feel movement the first time or the next time I have an ultrasound. But I’m not excited.

I feel like I’m in a time crunch to fix my life in 6 short months. It’s a blessing, don’t get me wrong, but I am not prepared. I didn’t think a baby would be in my future for another 4-5 years, AT LEAST. I’m still working on my relationship that hit a VERY rocky patch a few months ago. I’m broke. Our house just got robbed and I want to move. I feel like all of the rest of these things are overwhelming the “excited” feelings I should be having.

I feel like people are judging me because I’m not all glowy and “excited”

I’m scared that I am going to have to care for another human when I’m barely making it by myself. I’m being logical…coming from this emotionally driven person, its a very weird feeling… and logically I have 6 months, that’s it to at least get out of this disaster that my life fell into at the end of 2013.


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